Years ago, a senior business woman said to me: “No, I am stuck with this voice. You can’t change your voice.” I was perplexed and a little sad. The voice has an extraordinary capacity to express the infinite complexities that make us human. When you are born, your voice expresses over 8 octaves.
Believe it or not, you once had a voice that was full and expressive. It is your birthright.
So how do we get this less expressive adult voice?
Very early on, we adapt our expressive self through mimicry and learned behaviours. We learn that to express fully is unfavourable. We get messages in our different cultures and families such as: “Little girls should be seen and not heard”, “Stop whining”, “Pull yourself together”, “Grow up”, “Don’t speak until you are spoken to” etc. These messages register in us physically, emotionally, psychologically and vocally.
In turn, the body and voice, begin to contract and repress the actual desires that we wish to express. And here is the birth of the civilised voice.
Over the years, our natural voice becomes more contracted and the civilized voice is further shaped by the emotional knocks and bumps of life; finding your place in your first school, fitting in with your friend groups, the search for identity through puberty, evolving through your rights of passage from a girl to a woman, establishing your voice in the world through university and your career, fitting into the way of speaking in your business.
As you can imagine, the voice creatively adapts to help you ‘fit in’. However, this civilized voice is far from the free expressive voice that you had as a child.
When business people come to me to work on their voice, they are, in fact, overwhelmingly delighted to find that a freer voice gives them a sense of ease, joy and energy. It allows them to express more of their personality and power in communications. And gives them a greater sense of having a voice at the table.
To think you can’t change your voice is to hide your light under a bushel. Your natural voice is your energy and spirit revealed from inside to out. What a gift for both you and your listeners. Free your voice, free your power.